Bad Habits
Written for a friend who was leaving.
When I asked my friend from Vietnam what his first impression of winter was
He said he loved the smoke
The vapor escaping from between cracked lips,
I was smoking without smoking he said
Smiling
At that moment I emptied my lungs and watched my breath spiral upwards into towers
Staring at these sky scrapers I had grown used to
I told him I shared the sentiment
But I didn’t
And we kept walking
Downtown disappeared behind us
Skyline silhouette swallowing our shadows
What happens when their shadows become part of a daytime routine
Toronto clock face , the CN tower’s slender shadow ticking across the cityscape
I could sit beside city hall and feel all four Seasons bathe my body in the span of 12 hours and not give it a second thought
Towers are so proud of casting shadows
Sometimes I wonder why we can’t be
There is no shame in blocking the rays
The darkness spilling from your toes to the cement
It only meant that you had flesh and bone
I am so sorry for forgetting my friend who followed me everything morning and lead me home in twilight
I am so sorry for forgetting that every puff was a cloud part of an atmosphere encasing a living planet in my belly
I am so sorry that when we parted at the intersection I forgot to tell him I’d see him next week
But when he disappeared into the shadows
I wrung my lungs until the breath trickled out
I am so happy to be alive to witness my shadow
Because you cannot cast one when
you are buried ten feet under
I am so happy to be alive to see my breath
Because everything dies in the winter